Things seen and unseen, looking through
a glass darkly and reaching the sixth heaven
know all about the strange distances between
being good and being happy. Who among us
hasn’t learned that sometimes a severe madness
is a kind of wisdom and no matter what anyone
says we are or should be, not all that makes us
human turns out to be good for us. Sometimes
our emotions are street fighters, thugs and bullies.
I’ll tell you this - if people could be arrested for
their thoughts, I’d be the first sent to the bench.
I like to think I’m naturally good and therefore
happy all the time. It’s not true. If I were forced
to choose between staying home to pray with the
brethren instead of vacationing on some lusty
South Pacific island with absolute strangers, I’m
afraid the gates of heaven wouldn’t hear a peep,
hymn or a halleluiah out of me. I don’t know if
I’m a sinner or not or even if I believe in sin.
What I do know is that I often prove to be broken
in all the worst and sometimes hidden places and
have tendencies that make me want to eat and do
things I know damn well aren’t good for me, even
though they will make me unconditionally happy.
by Christopher Thomas
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